


Urban Machinations

by ncruuk



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: femslash_fluff, F/F, imported from LJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-15
Updated: 2008-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-16 21:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10579707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncruuk/pseuds/ncruuk
Summary: An afternoon in Atlantis





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to an LJ 24 hour challenge thing where @ralst put up a list of challenges for Atlantis (amongst others) in the @passionperfect LJ community, so I naturally decided to put all of them in a single, fluffy story

"What was that?" asked Rodney Mackey, turning sharply when he heard a noise behind him.

"What was what?" asked Major John Sheppard, shining his torch into the corner, as if looking for a small creature or something.

"That clanking sound that was exactly like the noise the doors make when they lock shut..."

"Oh, that sound..." confirmed John, leaning against the wall that now filled the space through which they had walked.

"Yeah, that sound..."

"It was the sound of the door locking shut."

"Really? You're sure about that? I mean, you're not just saying that because you delight in seeing my blood pressure increase to dangerously high levels?"

"That's my sole reason for living Rodney."

"At least you've got the gene..." sighed the scientist, wondering now why he'd thought it was a good idea to go exploring through Atlantis' corridors and corners when it was chocolate pudding for lunch...why didn't he pick yesterday...lemon meringue pie was hardly an event of note....

"But no door handle..."

"What?"

"I'd say we've just found the local lock-up...." mused John thoughtfully, before tapping on his radio. Elizabeth would know what to do...

 

* * *

 

"You're where?" asked Elizabeth, not sure she'd heard John correctly. Actually, it was almost impossible to hear John at all what with that background wailing noise.

"Oh...what's that noise?" Only being able to hear Elizabeth's half of the conversation would have been driving her lunch companion mad, had she not been having lunch with Teyla, who could already guess what, or rather who, was source of the noise. She'd gone on enough missions now to be able to imagine what was going on, and was content instead to enjoy the chocolate pudding - it really was something quite alien to her palate...

"Radek's coming to open the door John..." murmured Elizabeth around a sneaky mouthful of pudding, unwilling to delay the pleasure of chocolate any longer than she had to.

"Yes, I'm sure he's whining..." she sympathised with John whilst sharing a look with Teyla that, had she not been sitting in the middle of the lunchtime crowd, would have been augmented with an eye-roll.

"You could always practice diplomacy..."

"A kick in the balls usually gets speechlessness for around 12 minutes in my experience, and Radek should be there in ten..." concluded Elizabeth, disconnecting her earpiece and smiling at Teyla who was now herself rendered speechless by their normally mild mannered diplomatic leader advocating such an aggressive line of diplomacy.

"I have yet to see you use that particular negotiating technique Elizabeth..." observed Teyla finally, after regaining her train of thought.

"I didn't mean literally..." mused Elizabeth, wondering if she could get away with licking out her bowl (it was that time of the month and it _was_ chocolate) and reluctantly settling for wiping her finger around the bowl instead.

"Does John know that?" asked Teyla reasonably, bringing a look of horror to Elizabeth's face as she imagined what would happen if John took her literally.

"He wouldn't..."

He had.

 

* * *

 

"I want to use the body swap machine..." wailed Rodney from his curled up foetal position in the corner of the now identified Atlantis holding cell, more concerned with getting revenge on John than worrying about his dignity.

"It's not that bad..." began Carson, thinking Rodney was just overacting as usual, only to revise his opinion the moment he began his examination, "...actually no, you're right, it is that bad..."

"Make him swap bodies with me until it goes away..." wailed Rodney, thrashing about wildly when Carson touched a particularly tender spot, his flailing catching Elizabeth squarely in the stomach, winding her.

"Elizabeth?" asked Carson, completely forgetting about Rodney in his concern.

"I'm ok, really..." she wheezed, holding up her hand to stop everyone advancing on her, "...just surprised me."

"You never did have that self-defence class, did you?" asked John critically, remembering that Elizabeth had always managed to postpone it.

"I've been too busy."

"But you're not busy now," observed John, obviously intending to offer to train her right now, only for Rodney's latest flailing to catch him unawares. "Jesus..." he gulped, doubling over as he reacted to a rather well placed fist in a location not dissimilar to where the toe of his right boot had clipped Rodney a few minutes earlier.

"Maybe I should teach Elizabeth..." suggested Teyla quietly as she helped John lie down on the floor next to Rodney, his gulps of breath suggesting the punch had surprised him.

"You?"

"Yes John, I am perfectly capable of teaching Elizabeth and I am sure that Althosian skills of self defence would be just as effective as your methods," responded Teyla calmly, although Elizabeth was certain she could hear a hint of indignance in her voice.

"More so probably, since you're not currently sporting a big bruise..." interrupted Carson, deciding he'd seen more than enough to know that he could head back to his infirmary and leave the two boys whimpering in peace.

"Do I get a say in this?" asked Elizabeth with mock indignance.

"Not if you know what's good for you..." declared Carson briskly, ushering the two ladies out of the cell, before adding, "...although I trust you're not actually going to practice self defence..."

"We're not?"

"I'd rather you didn't...actually, if I could prescribe it, I would, but since I can't, I'll just give you a friendly recommendation..."

"What are you talking about Carson?" asked Elizabeth, thoroughly confused as to what the doctor was rambling about, except that he seemed to be talking to Teyla about her, which she knew she didn't like.

"The reason that punch winded her is she's far too tense, she needs to relax..."

"I understand Doctor..." replied Teyla seriously, although her eyes were sparkling.

"An entire afternoon of relaxation would be best..."

"Of course..."

"And with the two troublemakers moving very carefully for the rest of the day..."

"We have the whole afternoon..." confirmed Teyla, grinning at Elizabeth who suddenly caught on to what her lover and friend were up to.

"You're kidding me..." 

 

They weren't.


End file.
